Oblivion

I was just reading my last post realizing that it has been since right after Christmas that I've had anything monumental to say. Not that anything I've had to say was monumental really. The sad truth is that I am writing right now and still have nothing monumental pinging around in my brain but feel the need to write something nevertheless. I am that uncomfortable with silence person.

So the last few months have been pretty uneventful except for a near miss health crisis with Melanie. Thought she might need brain surgery, but discovered that she may just be a fainter. Awesome.

I bought myself a planner at the first of this year not to document any extensive future plans or keep track of my crazy appointments. Nope, it's just for me to write down every day what I have done regardless of how boring it is. Some days it's "work and watch Idol". Sounds pathetic eh? What I've found is that I've slid into a ridiculous rut of monotony that I'm struggling to get out of. I started writing down my pathetic activities so that when asked what I've been up to, that I might actually remember or at least have a reference. I just need to remember to write it down. The days feel like they just slide by. They slide into weeks and months and later when I look back I'm scratching my head wondering what just happened. Did I accomplish anything at all?

I've decided that Jack is a bad influence on the children. I know! Crazy eh? Who knew? I was driving yesterday with Doodles in the backseat of the car and we were at a stoplight. Out of nowhere I hear, "Be good mom while the cop goes by." This was said in all seriousness and a hint of desperate worry. Amazing. Jack is working diligently on instilling the concept of being good only when figures of authority are looking and a generalized feeling of distrust and malice toward the po-po. I wonder how this will work for us in their teen years? I may have to go on strike and let him clean up his own messes!

The other day I had a strange experience at the grocery store. You know those moments that are ridiculous and not a big deal, but they are embedded in your thoughts for no good reason? It was one such occasion for me. I got up at the ass-crack of dawn on Friday to go to the store and get the stuff to put together a lasagna for after work. I'm at the checkout clutching my coffee and looking especially haggard while she rang up two measly little bags of groceries that constituted the necessary ingredients. And I had been thoughtful of my children and bought six various sprinkley doughnuts. I sat there with my card held in midair while she read me my total. "That'll be $73. (and some change) I just stood there with my card still adrift looking at her, looking at my bags, back to her, and my bags. She looked at me, back at my bags, and then wordlessly starts scanning through the receipt. She was charging me for six dozen doughnuts. That would have sucked. It was such an interesting though wordless exchange at 6am. Then I'm in the throes of making lasagna and Mel had just finished her doughnut-

Mel: Oh! Did you go to the store?

Me: Nope, I baked those doughnuts.

Someday when my kids are being smart asses I'll look back to these moments and know that it's karma. I just have so little self control with it.