It has been a long time since I've had a few moments to myself to update this blog of mine. Between my loving children and the other irritants in my life, I find that I don't have as much time as I would like. What possible other irritants could I be speaking of? Well, several in fact, but one in particular nickels and dimes my days, grosses me out, and causes a plethora of swear words to pass by my lips. Ants. Little, tiny, nasty ants. Don't get me wrong, because I do thank the heavens for the absence of venomous, possibly deadly creatures, but I find myself with my patience running thin on these little bastards.
I have tried several things to rid myself of the plague of ants that would consume my kitchen if given the chance. Right off the bat I bought ant traps, and they laughed in the face of them!! So then I went out and sprayed poison along the edges of the house and laughed diabolically at my cleverness. Mwahahahaha!! Apparently I missed a spot or two, or they are immune to my petty poisons because it barely slowed them down. And ants, ants don't march one by one. They march by the hundreds! Bastards. At a loss, I have since been employing preventative measures. What wouldn't fit in the fridge is now sealed in the million Tupperware containers I purchased to thwart the little demons. Also, I spray them with my all purpose spray every chance I get, which is alot because by the time I clean up their corpses, there are more invaders. Die already!!!
I have employed a tactic occasionally that makes me really wonder about the nature of these creatures. Several times I have left the dead bodies where they were to serve as a warning to the next wave of attacks in the hopes that they would panic and turn around seeking to save themselves. This did not work. First I thought it must be because they are small, making their brains even smaller, meaning they're stupid. This makes sense to me, but then I started wondering as I watched them pick their way slowly around the bodies of their fallen. What if they are more like King Leonidas and his brave 300? What if they feel that they need to take a stand even in the face of their own destruction? I can just hear the queen ant pitching the glory speech to the millions crowded somewhere around my house; "Ants never retreat! Ants never surrender! The world will know that free ants stood against a tyrant. Ants, prepare for glory!" What if? Am I the bad guy in all this? Live and let live? This may be so, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm ok with my role as judge, jury and executioner, and if I have to face the music for this in the ever after, well, then that's what I will have to do. I have some corpses to go clean up now...
3 comments:
Ah! How I love your ramblings and rantings! I'm telling you it's a sign you are to move home immediatly!
Yeah, maybe all those trillions of ants could carry you all here on there backs!! That would be awesome!
I've never had an ant problem. But I can tell you my tactics for killing roaches and mice in gross New York apartments. For mice - glue traps. I know its inhumane, but the glue traps work like a charm. For rats - the rat zapper. It electrocutes them, then you dump them in the garbage. Roaches - roach motels and roach killing caulking. Put this stuff around drain pipes, holes in the wall, etc. and those little bastards are dead. Maybe they have something similar for ants? But man, I never saw another roach after that. AMAZING.
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