Marriage is a strange and wonderful thing. I think that mine leans more toward the strange end of the spectrum. I know, right? One of the wonderful things is that Jack is forever diligent about keeping track of things where I tend to be forgetful and flighty. (I hope that at least one person crinkles their forehead in confusion because they cannot imagine me being either of those things. Just one.) For example, every night he makes sure that my phone is found and plugged in for me. Every night I lay down and ask him if he's seen my phone. Every night he points toward my nightstand where it is plugged in. And every night I smile in gratitude that I don't have to get back up and organize a hunt.
Another one of my little quirks that Jack has to cope with is that I'm a dresser-drawer-leaver-opener. Yup, why open drawers more than you have to? Open once and just leave it. It's what I do. It drives Jack insane because I have a long, low dresser that is caddy corner from our bed. In order to get from bed to anywhere, Jack has to pass between the corner of the bed and the corner of the dresser. It's not a terribly tight squeeze unless of course the drawers are wide open. Unfortunately for him I keep my workout clothes in the bottom drawer nearest the bed and at 5am when I'm getting ready for the gym I can barely remember to get dressed let alone shut drawers.
A couple of weeks ago I had stayed up reading until almost 2 in the morning and must have disturbed him when I came to bed. Our room was pitch black and I heard Jack throw back the covers and stumble to his feet. Then I heard step, step, drawer closing... I suddenly started laughing SO hard and could not stop! Jack continued his journey in the dark muttering, "evil bitch..." I love that guy! Even in the pitch dark, half asleep he knows well enough that I had left the dang drawer open and that his shins were at serious risk!
I feel like I should give him some sort of certificate for achieving what some people can never have. The ability to just accept things as they really are and just cope. I felt a tear in my eye at how far he's come... *sniff*
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Life with Cody
It's been almost 14 years since we made the fateful decision to bring our first canine companion into our lives. Fourteen years of exasperation, tears, with the occasional laugh at our own expense. It was always us on the receiving end of the misery as I can only think of one time that Cody's actions directly led to his own humiliation/misery. Other than when he pushed me to the edge a time or two (or fifty or sixty...) and I would grab him by either side of his beautiful white mane and scream at him, "Why do you have to be such an asshole?!"
This probably seems dramatic and maybe even a bit exaggerated, but I swear that this dog, this innocent looking geriatric dog has caused more problems than any creature I have heard of. I watched "Marley and Me" and scoffed at the antics of that dog while thinking to myself that they had nothing on my stories! In fact I've recently started a book about them. One that will likely never get published or recognized in any way, but one that needs to be written nevertheless. I feel like I need to tell the Cody stories even if it's only my form of self therapy. To get it off my chest as they say.
I've been kicking myself lately for not having documented any of his hijinks. Some of the stuff he has done would have definitely been photo worthy even if it was only for us to make a solid case against him for the loss of our sanity. Or to make people that don't know him believe that a dog was capable of such acts. In his old age he has lost some of his pep, but none of his bad and devious attitude. I attempted to make up for my poor documentation history with this picture.
Yes, that is crap on a case of Diet Pepsi. And yes, I do believe that it was totally intentional and pre-meditated. I do not joke about this. He was mad at me for something, pick any reason, and he knows that soda is important to me. That was his statement.
Mel and I walked him three miles that night because I mistakenly thought that Mr. Gimpster would give up and we'd have to leave him on the roadside, but he tromped along like a champ! I'm sure that he will live many more years if only just to spite us. He is the dog that refuses to stop breathing.
In all seriousness he is loved, but in sort of a Stockholm Syndrome sort of way.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Don't Judge Other Parents
I used to watch parents with their children out in public and gasp in shock occasionally at how they would turn around and snap at their child for some seemingly innocent request. I no longer do that. I wish that I could come up with some hand signal or salute that would become the universal sign for "I feel your pain; dang kids!" See, we as the observers have no idea what those children have put that parent through to get them to the point that they are ready to snap for no obvious reason.
The other day I was that parent on the verge of a meltdown, but I was not in a grocery store. I was in a pizza place trying to order a pizza so that I could sit and relax because I could feel myself nearing the end of my short rope. All this thanks to the evil wee people that had been running around insane all day, dragging me down with them. Anyway, Doodles and Sydney had walked down there with me and were running between the video games, the servers area, and me, while touching every table they saw and I tried to look at the menu on the counter. At my elbow was a large stack of to-go menus. As I'm trying to ask the guy at the counter something, I feel a disturbance with the paper menu stack. Without looking I slam my hand down on the stack and continue talking. Again comes the rattling of the paper and again I slam down my hand. The third time I grab the menu, put it pointedly back on the pile and swing my head in a downward arc prepared to threaten the life of a small person if they f*$!#d with the menus again. (remember the pending meltdown??) Only there wasn't a small person there. It was a full grown man hand. Yup. Some guy came in behind me and simply wanted to look at a menu. He looked at me kinda pissed if I do say so myself, and says "excuse me!" I respond with, "I'm sorrrryyy... I thought you were one of my evil children!"
He was judging me. Even after my oh so eloquent apology and the fact that my children were still running around like a-holes, I could tell that he thought that I was a horrible parent while he sat there with his quiet, well behaved child. I know a universal sign I could have given him...
The other day I was that parent on the verge of a meltdown, but I was not in a grocery store. I was in a pizza place trying to order a pizza so that I could sit and relax because I could feel myself nearing the end of my short rope. All this thanks to the evil wee people that had been running around insane all day, dragging me down with them. Anyway, Doodles and Sydney had walked down there with me and were running between the video games, the servers area, and me, while touching every table they saw and I tried to look at the menu on the counter. At my elbow was a large stack of to-go menus. As I'm trying to ask the guy at the counter something, I feel a disturbance with the paper menu stack. Without looking I slam my hand down on the stack and continue talking. Again comes the rattling of the paper and again I slam down my hand. The third time I grab the menu, put it pointedly back on the pile and swing my head in a downward arc prepared to threaten the life of a small person if they f*$!#d with the menus again. (remember the pending meltdown??) Only there wasn't a small person there. It was a full grown man hand. Yup. Some guy came in behind me and simply wanted to look at a menu. He looked at me kinda pissed if I do say so myself, and says "excuse me!" I respond with, "I'm sorrrryyy... I thought you were one of my evil children!"
He was judging me. Even after my oh so eloquent apology and the fact that my children were still running around like a-holes, I could tell that he thought that I was a horrible parent while he sat there with his quiet, well behaved child. I know a universal sign I could have given him...
Monday, March 15, 2010
Oblivion
I was just reading my last post realizing that it has been since right after Christmas that I've had anything monumental to say. Not that anything I've had to say was monumental really. The sad truth is that I am writing right now and still have nothing monumental pinging around in my brain but feel the need to write something nevertheless. I am that uncomfortable with silence person.
So the last few months have been pretty uneventful except for a near miss health crisis with Melanie. Thought she might need brain surgery, but discovered that she may just be a fainter. Awesome.
I bought myself a planner at the first of this year not to document any extensive future plans or keep track of my crazy appointments. Nope, it's just for me to write down every day what I have done regardless of how boring it is. Some days it's "work and watch Idol". Sounds pathetic eh? What I've found is that I've slid into a ridiculous rut of monotony that I'm struggling to get out of. I started writing down my pathetic activities so that when asked what I've been up to, that I might actually remember or at least have a reference. I just need to remember to write it down. The days feel like they just slide by. They slide into weeks and months and later when I look back I'm scratching my head wondering what just happened. Did I accomplish anything at all?
I've decided that Jack is a bad influence on the children. I know! Crazy eh? Who knew? I was driving yesterday with Doodles in the backseat of the car and we were at a stoplight. Out of nowhere I hear, "Be good mom while the cop goes by." This was said in all seriousness and a hint of desperate worry. Amazing. Jack is working diligently on instilling the concept of being good only when figures of authority are looking and a generalized feeling of distrust and malice toward the po-po. I wonder how this will work for us in their teen years? I may have to go on strike and let him clean up his own messes!
The other day I had a strange experience at the grocery store. You know those moments that are ridiculous and not a big deal, but they are embedded in your thoughts for no good reason? It was one such occasion for me. I got up at the ass-crack of dawn on Friday to go to the store and get the stuff to put together a lasagna for after work. I'm at the checkout clutching my coffee and looking especially haggard while she rang up two measly little bags of groceries that constituted the necessary ingredients. And I had been thoughtful of my children and bought six various sprinkley doughnuts. I sat there with my card held in midair while she read me my total. "That'll be $73. (and some change) I just stood there with my card still adrift looking at her, looking at my bags, back to her, and my bags. She looked at me, back at my bags, and then wordlessly starts scanning through the receipt. She was charging me for six dozen doughnuts. That would have sucked. It was such an interesting though wordless exchange at 6am. Then I'm in the throes of making lasagna and Mel had just finished her doughnut-
Mel: Oh! Did you go to the store?
Me: Nope, I baked those doughnuts.
Someday when my kids are being smart asses I'll look back to these moments and know that it's karma. I just have so little self control with it.
So the last few months have been pretty uneventful except for a near miss health crisis with Melanie. Thought she might need brain surgery, but discovered that she may just be a fainter. Awesome.
I bought myself a planner at the first of this year not to document any extensive future plans or keep track of my crazy appointments. Nope, it's just for me to write down every day what I have done regardless of how boring it is. Some days it's "work and watch Idol". Sounds pathetic eh? What I've found is that I've slid into a ridiculous rut of monotony that I'm struggling to get out of. I started writing down my pathetic activities so that when asked what I've been up to, that I might actually remember or at least have a reference. I just need to remember to write it down. The days feel like they just slide by. They slide into weeks and months and later when I look back I'm scratching my head wondering what just happened. Did I accomplish anything at all?
I've decided that Jack is a bad influence on the children. I know! Crazy eh? Who knew? I was driving yesterday with Doodles in the backseat of the car and we were at a stoplight. Out of nowhere I hear, "Be good mom while the cop goes by." This was said in all seriousness and a hint of desperate worry. Amazing. Jack is working diligently on instilling the concept of being good only when figures of authority are looking and a generalized feeling of distrust and malice toward the po-po. I wonder how this will work for us in their teen years? I may have to go on strike and let him clean up his own messes!
The other day I had a strange experience at the grocery store. You know those moments that are ridiculous and not a big deal, but they are embedded in your thoughts for no good reason? It was one such occasion for me. I got up at the ass-crack of dawn on Friday to go to the store and get the stuff to put together a lasagna for after work. I'm at the checkout clutching my coffee and looking especially haggard while she rang up two measly little bags of groceries that constituted the necessary ingredients. And I had been thoughtful of my children and bought six various sprinkley doughnuts. I sat there with my card held in midair while she read me my total. "That'll be $73. (and some change) I just stood there with my card still adrift looking at her, looking at my bags, back to her, and my bags. She looked at me, back at my bags, and then wordlessly starts scanning through the receipt. She was charging me for six dozen doughnuts. That would have sucked. It was such an interesting though wordless exchange at 6am. Then I'm in the throes of making lasagna and Mel had just finished her doughnut-
Mel: Oh! Did you go to the store?
Me: Nope, I baked those doughnuts.
Someday when my kids are being smart asses I'll look back to these moments and know that it's karma. I just have so little self control with it.
Friday, December 25, 2009
We Survived!
It is finally the evening of Christmas in the Murray home, and all is quiet.... I and my family have survived the holiday season intact, and just barely swerved out of the way of a nervous breakdown. I have been looking forward to just this moment in time when I am not at work and all of the gatherings and gifts and stress are behind me. This is the best moment of Christmas. The moment when you can sit down, breath a sigh of relief, and wrap yourself up in the warmth of the memories made with loved ones.
Surprisingly, (not) I have no pictures yet, but they may come. Like next year sometime after I post last years. I can't keep too high of expectations for myself about stuff like that or I'll just feel like a depressed failure and bag the whole thing entirely.
The girls all got Nintendo DS's for Christmas which has proved to be an amazing blessing for us, and is what allows me to be sitting here right now typing this. Because I have my laptop to myself. With nobody lurking around asking for "their turn". As if I have an obligation to share! Since they haven't had their own systems, they have become addicted to several internet game sites like barbie.com, webkinz, and some mooshi thing. The other night Jack and I crashed into bed around eleven and left the girls to a movie since it's Christmas break. At some point I woke up to Doodles turning on my bathroom light and digging around my night stand while singing to herself. I'm dazed and looking around trying to figure out what the heck time it was, and Jack's looking at his phone grumbling about it being three in the morning!
Me: Doodles, what the heck are you doing????
Doodles: Looking for my ni-night panties. hmm.. hmm, la, la...
Me: Did you wet the bed or something? Gah!
Doodles: No! I go to bed now! I was playing on the 'puter. (pronounced- pewter)
I cannot believe the little turd stayed up all frickin' night playing frickin' computer games! I'd like to blame that on someone else, but I'm sure that one is a genetic trait somehow linked to me. Whoops.
Then I have Miss. Syd who is the Queen of Random Thoughts. This one came out of nowhere and made me realize what a deep thinker she is for her young age. She's my sensitive one for sure. I had worked late and then had to run errands and to get ingredients for some holiday baking and while I was putting away stuff Sydney was hanging around.
Sydney: Mom. Can I talk to you?
Me: Sure! (please don't ask where babies come from, please don't ask....)
Sydney: Did you get to say "goodbye" to your mom?
I could not believe that was what she wanted to talk about. I hadn't even really thought about it quite like that myself. It made me just stop in my tracks. No, I didn't. Not really. I said the goodbye that means "see ya later" but not the goodbye that really means "goodbye". This was the perfect time to explain to her that sometimes you don't know when your goodbye will be forever which is why you always need to treat and speak to everyone like it might be the last time. I tried to keep that conversation near to my heart during these last couple of days, through all the family gatherings, and be grateful for the chaos and fatigue that comes with this time of year because I couldn't be more grateful for the family and the many blessings that I have. To my family and friends- I love you and hope that you have had a wonderful Christmas!
Surprisingly, (not) I have no pictures yet, but they may come. Like next year sometime after I post last years. I can't keep too high of expectations for myself about stuff like that or I'll just feel like a depressed failure and bag the whole thing entirely.
The girls all got Nintendo DS's for Christmas which has proved to be an amazing blessing for us, and is what allows me to be sitting here right now typing this. Because I have my laptop to myself. With nobody lurking around asking for "their turn". As if I have an obligation to share! Since they haven't had their own systems, they have become addicted to several internet game sites like barbie.com, webkinz, and some mooshi thing. The other night Jack and I crashed into bed around eleven and left the girls to a movie since it's Christmas break. At some point I woke up to Doodles turning on my bathroom light and digging around my night stand while singing to herself. I'm dazed and looking around trying to figure out what the heck time it was, and Jack's looking at his phone grumbling about it being three in the morning!
Me: Doodles, what the heck are you doing????
Doodles: Looking for my ni-night panties. hmm.. hmm, la, la...
Me: Did you wet the bed or something? Gah!
Doodles: No! I go to bed now! I was playing on the 'puter. (pronounced- pewter)
I cannot believe the little turd stayed up all frickin' night playing frickin' computer games! I'd like to blame that on someone else, but I'm sure that one is a genetic trait somehow linked to me. Whoops.
Then I have Miss. Syd who is the Queen of Random Thoughts. This one came out of nowhere and made me realize what a deep thinker she is for her young age. She's my sensitive one for sure. I had worked late and then had to run errands and to get ingredients for some holiday baking and while I was putting away stuff Sydney was hanging around.
Sydney: Mom. Can I talk to you?
Me: Sure! (please don't ask where babies come from, please don't ask....)
Sydney: Did you get to say "goodbye" to your mom?
I could not believe that was what she wanted to talk about. I hadn't even really thought about it quite like that myself. It made me just stop in my tracks. No, I didn't. Not really. I said the goodbye that means "see ya later" but not the goodbye that really means "goodbye". This was the perfect time to explain to her that sometimes you don't know when your goodbye will be forever which is why you always need to treat and speak to everyone like it might be the last time. I tried to keep that conversation near to my heart during these last couple of days, through all the family gatherings, and be grateful for the chaos and fatigue that comes with this time of year because I couldn't be more grateful for the family and the many blessings that I have. To my family and friends- I love you and hope that you have had a wonderful Christmas!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Add-On To Previous...
So I was talking to my sister-in-law Abby the other night and she was expressing her disappointment that I left out what she thought was the best part of this story. I realize that I told two stories in that post, so I am specifically referring to the one involving duct. tape. Just for Abby I will tell the rest of the sordid tale....
So later after we got ourselves together, survived the Murray Family Christmas Gathering, tree shopping, and a 2-year old's birthday party, we were finally home relaxing with Jack's brother, Abby and their two boys, Chase-8 and Cole-5. The kids were all playing well except for....... *drum roll please*....... wait for it............. you'll never guess!!!! DOODLES!!! Never saw that coming eh? Anyhoo, I'm not really sure what was going on but she was being a pest and Jack was in the midst of something, I don't know what, but he was on a mission. All we hear is Doodles being loud and obnoxious and Jack calling from the upstairs for... duct. tape. I guess the reason that this would be hilarious is because we were all pretty convinced that his mission may have been to use it on Doodles. I joked nervously like, "Yeah, yeah, you could be right. He's probably taping her to the wall as we speak!" The kids giggled in a hushed sort of way, but kept looking around at each other like they were waiting to see if it was really a joke because well, really we all know that she has a way of pushing you just past that line in the sand. The one that divides the Land of the Sane and the opposite, The Land Where Amber Resides. Needless to say, he avoided the temptation, but the wondering if she would be coming back down with him or not was way too much fun!
So later after we got ourselves together, survived the Murray Family Christmas Gathering, tree shopping, and a 2-year old's birthday party, we were finally home relaxing with Jack's brother, Abby and their two boys, Chase-8 and Cole-5. The kids were all playing well except for....... *drum roll please*....... wait for it............. you'll never guess!!!! DOODLES!!! Never saw that coming eh? Anyhoo, I'm not really sure what was going on but she was being a pest and Jack was in the midst of something, I don't know what, but he was on a mission. All we hear is Doodles being loud and obnoxious and Jack calling from the upstairs for... duct. tape. I guess the reason that this would be hilarious is because we were all pretty convinced that his mission may have been to use it on Doodles. I joked nervously like, "Yeah, yeah, you could be right. He's probably taping her to the wall as we speak!" The kids giggled in a hushed sort of way, but kept looking around at each other like they were waiting to see if it was really a joke because well, really we all know that she has a way of pushing you just past that line in the sand. The one that divides the Land of the Sane and the opposite, The Land Where Amber Resides. Needless to say, he avoided the temptation, but the wondering if she would be coming back down with him or not was way too much fun!
Doodles
One would never know it based solely on this picture, that this child could be the most devilish of my brood. The problem is that she is so darn cute! It's those eyes, and the "I love you too, Mom!" as she runs up the stairs to piss off her sisters that keeps her alive. I don't even have to say "I love you" to get that response. That's what is so dang adorable about it! She adds the "too" whether I say it first or not. At least her cuteness may save her from mine and Jack's wrath, but Mel and Syd may be a different story. I'm pretty sure it's a matter of time before she gets shanked. They have been giving her everything she wants since she was born just to shut her up, but I sense years of bitterness boiling close to the edge, and I fear for that wee devil! What is it they say about reaping what you sow?
Me: cleaning and putzing in kitchen...
Doodles: Kyle is a Douche Bag.
Me: heading upstairs to beat hell out of Jack
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