Sleep Disorder

I'm pretty sure I mentioned that I have a new love for eCards, right? Also asking "right?" all the time is my other new and favorite irritating habit.  Ask Jack. Well, and everyone else that has to listen to me.  You guys would agree, right?! HELLO... Hello... hellooo... Who am I kidding? Nobody listens to me! 

I felt like this eCard is representative of my combination problems of ADD and insomnia.  It's seriously problematic.  It's also why I suck at meditating and find myself seeking a glass of wine to chill out since I can't sit still long enough, and stay focused long enough to find peace via meditation.  This is why I have to be funny!  If I didn't find humor in my daily bullshit life, I would have to be institutionalized.  

School started again today.  Didn't even need the paper bag, but I must confess that I indulged in wine tonight, though not as much as I predicted I would need to keep me from losing it when faced with a predictable future of sleepless nights hunched over my keyboard, cursing my stupidity for signing up for school again in the first place.  

Incidentally I did learn some things today.  I learned about how disgusting war is and that in the end there are no "good guys" or "bad guys", and the "why's/wherefore's" don't matter, and that in the end, there are only dead guys.  Lots of them.  I also learned, to my surprise, that even in grad school there is always that one person in class that every time they talk, everyone else looks to each other and tries to think nice thoughts, despite the desperate yearning to roll our eyes into the back of our heads, because, well... We are studying peace after all.

Yeah, peace out, bitches! *Insert peace sign with eye roll* Cuz I can.

Life Unplugged

It has been 25 hours and 11 minutes since I had an operational phone.  I don't know if I will be able to survive this.  I'm drowning in a pit of despair, lonely for all of my friends... Now I actually have to pay attention to what's going on around me.

Like my kids.

 And my housework.

 Reality is just so hard.  No more Whirly Word, Facebook, Instagram, or texting rage faces or memes to entertain me in my waking hours! What will I doooooo???!!

It is currently buried in its ricey grave, hopefully to be resurrected soon.  I don't care that it will be a zombie phone! I just want it to live!

RIP my dear... You will be forever in my heart... *sob*

New Beginnings

And here we are again... As I read over my blog, I see points where my diligence and motivation to maintain any kind of record of my family fun/chaos/mayhem/bullshit, fall off from time-to-time, and I begin again with a post about some new-found second wind and promise to be better. So now I know that I'm totally gonna drop off the face of the blog-o-sphere at some point again when the metaphorical shit hits the metaphorical fan, or in my world, not as metaphorical as I would like, and more likely to be a weed-eater than a fan, but the point is, I ramble too much that I'm totally cool with that! I'm working on my ability to love and forgive myself and all that shit.

My recent slackerdom is related to spending the last two+ years in hell school.  Almost three months from the graduation ceremony, I still can't sleep like a normal person at night and the thought of writing an essay has me reaching for a paper bag while I calculate how many bottles of wine it will take to put me back in my happy place.

Grad school starts in three weeks.

I'm not sure that my body can hold enough wine to help me cope with that.  Every minute of every day, I coach myself through the "why's" and "why not's" of my decision to continue, and continue, and continue my education. Some moments I come up with something brilliant and inspirational, but other times I imagine myself actually melting into a pool of insanity, where I can fantasize about the nature of bubbles and leprechauns and republicans and all kinds of other shit I don't understand.

Recently, a relative, (you know who you are) reminded me that I even had this little 'ol blog. I looked it up and remembered how fun it could be to write my random tales.  I'm thinking it's time to dust the cobwebs outta my overtaxed brain and play for awhile.  At least until grad school starts. Or doesn't. Or does. Or doesn't.

My sanity is definitely one of the great unknowns.

I also have a new love for e-cards.  I will likely post many of them.  If I post anything at all.

Why did I not think of this?  I would own that program.  I would own it without the paper bag, and the wine would only help sharpen my skills.  But in the end- reality sucks, so I can only practice my sarcasm on the poor lucky bastards that have to put up with me all the time.  

Cheers!